Oxford Languages defines it as “the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness”.
The American Psychological Association defines resilience as “the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or even significant sources of stress“
When disaster comes
how to do you deal with it?
My tendency is to run when things go haywire or tragedy strikes. My goal is to get as far away from it as possible.
Unfortunately, I learned quickly, that running doesn’t work. This is very true if you are a child and can’t leave a difficult situation in your house. You have to learn ways to cope with the circumstances that you are dealt. When you move out and start your own life, things can quickly become even more challenging. Job disasters, living situations, money problems even car problems.
It get’s especially hard to run from a DISABILITY. When I became 100% deaf I was stuck with myself. I couldn’t run from the obvious. I had to choose how to accept and handle what I couldn’t avoid.
How you deal with all of the difficult situations in your life can make the difference between being paralyzed with depression and fear or coping in a healthy way.
I have found ways to cope with tragedies and unfortunate circumstances.
There are three pillars I hold onto like a roller coaster at a theme park.
My FIRST pillar is my faith in Jesus. It wasn’t always this way. As a child I really didn’t know who He was. I was a hot mess of sadness and anger dealing with family and financial stress growing up.
I didn’t know that He would someday become my ROCK of support. Jesus is the foundation that my life exists now. I can unequivocally tell you hundreds of stories where Jesus has not been absent from my troubles. When tragedy strikes my first stop is with Jesus in prayer.
My SECOND pillar is my intention to stay moving. I know from extensive studies that activity increases endorphins in the brain. According to Medical News Today “Endorphins are a type of “feel-good” brain chemical. They act as natural pain and stress relievers.” Activity is a must when it comes to overcoming stressful events. You can go for a walk or a bike ride. Find a friend and walk through a mall. Get in a pool and go swimming. Or better yet, (my personal favorite when I had hearing) GO DANCING!
The objective is to not get stuck wallowing in sadness for long. It’s ok to feel sad or be angry just don’t let it consume you. Get moving!
My THIRD pillar is to surround myself with community. This is absolutely crucial to surround yourself with positive people that have experienced similar challenges as you and can offer suggestions to help you manage your expectations. These are the people who are going to elevate you during this difficult event. I think about my mom dealing with cancer THREE times before she passed away and all of the people I know who have experienced to journey of chemo and hair loss. The community is KEY to keeping a strong mind which will help in healing not only mentally but physically!
There are so many ways to overcome and manage stress. These are a few that have helped me manage through some difficult circumstances. I know there will be more, and I know I can’t run from them. Don’t get stuck. Ask for help! You are not alone in this world and you would be SHOCKED to learn that others are dealing with the same stuff you are. JUST DON’T TRY TO DO IT ALONE!
I’M SENDING YOU ALL OF MY LOVE!