Fear is a crazy feeling I have experienced so many times in my life.
There’s been enough adversity in my world to understand my concerns for the UNKNOWN.
I understand the heartache of a failed marriage. Nobody EVER plans to get divorced in the beginning of their relationship; certainly not after they have started a family.
This was such an extreme unknown because I genuinely did NOT see it coming. I tried so hard to keep it together, but it was apparent that this NEW normal was about to begin for me (pregnant) and with an 11 month old son.
When you have no job, house or car, the journey becomes even scarier to tread.
I WAS BROKEN.
I cried out so many times, WHY ME??? I just didn’t understand how life had served me so many lemons.
What I had to discover, was that I was stronger than I ever knew!
To get to the other side of pain, I had to learn how to live outside of my comfort zone.
Welfare was NOT on the top of my list of achievements, but it was temporarily necessary while I had to be uncomfortable.
Taking care of a newborn and toddler by myself, definitely was not comfortable.
Running my kids to sitters as I attempted to return to college and do massive quantities of homework to acquire my TWO degrees was NOT COMFORTABLE.
Add a job to that list and well you can say exhaustion was my middle name!
Being uncomfortable was becoming my super power. I’m very glad because it prepared me for the journey of losing all of my hearing to brain tumors a few years later. That has me living out of my comfort zone DAILY now.
I have a 3 step process if you have found yourself moving into the unknown.
I know this sounds ridiculous, but my mind started moving at a 100 miles an hour with worry and concern every single day. You are going to need to reset your mind regularly and take a deep breath. You will need this to take your very next step.
Step # 2
This is the time I got very serious about my personal growth journey. You are going to have to IGNORE the whole picture. It will overwhelm you. Start at your immediate priority and focus on one step at a time. For me, it was putting a roof over our head. This was hard without a job and car. I had to move back in with my mom for a short term. Talk about not being comfortable. The stress will eat you up if you look too far down the road. Focus on just the first step. once that is done, then the next step. NOT the whole road.
Fear of the unknown will paralyze you. It will force you into a depression that I can say by experience, will not allow you to move forward. You will be stuck and scared to do anything. You will want to give up. You won’t even try. These tips sound silly, but I can assure you they are necessary. Make that first step. It will be scary. Going on welfare was scary to me. Being homeless is scary. Just the word DIVORCE is scary.
You are stronger that you can ever know!
YOU GOT THIS! I’m rooting for you.